When you get a crank call here are ways to answer them:


Good afternoon Sherwood Forest Robin Hood Speaking

Ghost Busters

Ghostbusters Slimer speaking

Hello you have reached castle greyskull sorry He-man isn't here so Leave your name and number and By the Power He will get back to you

Hello You have reached a house full of women Leave your name and number and one of us will get back to you ....... We Promise

Hello dog pound with everybody all at once barking and howling like dogs

Good Day (Your favorite Comic book Character ) Speaking

Hello Care-A-Lot Funshine bear speaking

North pole santa's workshop Head elf speaking RUDOLPH!! STOP PLAYING WITH THOSE BELLS

BAD AFTERNOON SESAMEE STREET OSCAR THE GROUCH YELLING AT YOU SO SCRAM

Good afternoon Sesamee Street Bigbird speaking

Mcdonald's Ronalld Speaking

let the dog pick up the phone

let the baby pick up the phone

let the parrot pick up the phone

let the drunk pick up the phone and throw it out the window

place the phone next to a whoopee coushin and then sit on it

Good after noon Sewerden Splinter speaking

Good evening Titanic Fred Fleet here Iceberg dead ahead

Good afternoon RLSH headquarters Silver Sentinel Speaking

Good afternoon Price is right Bob Barker speaking COME OOOOONNNNN DOOWWNN!!!!!!

What to leave on the Answering Machines:

(To the Tune of Greatest American hero )

Belive it or not Polarman isnt here leave a message after the beep I must be out or id pick up the phone where could I be believe it or not Im not home

I AM SO UGLY THAT ID RATHER LEAVE MY VOICE ON THE MACHINE SO I DON'T SCARE YOUR KIDS

Pour water from a bottle into a bucket of water then flush the toilet

drop an object into the bucket of water then flush the toilet Drat where is the paper

Speak in Klingon giberish like a wookie ewok half breed and have whoever calls guess what youre trying to say

record sentences from tv shows and movies and make it sound like a conversation going on while youre not home

record banging and crashing and explain to your friends anoying inlaws that there could be a poltergiest in your home

there is a flasher in the neighbourhood and I have gone out to turn off his her lights

Burp the message that your not home as loud as you can

gargle the message that you have gone out for a bit

Fart as loud as you can with the message that you have gone out for a smoke break

record a bad storm and play the organ to the tune The Phantom of the Opera is not home deep down below

Record the sound of a phaser fight from star trek as well as a lightsaber fight from star wars and tell your friends that aliens live in your attic

Record the soundeffects of a transporter beam then shout What The Hell Is Going On

Record the sound of yourself Puking all your guts out then explain that you have gone to your sister's for supper

Record the sound of a rollercoaster with people screaming and explain that your house has been turned in to a theme park

or you can say that you moved to canada's wonderland

record Big Bird as well as Ernie and Bert leave a message that your kids just talked you into moving to Sesamee Street

Record Pigs squealing while Coughing and sneezing explain that everybody has Swine Flu

Record birds Chirping while Coughing and sneezing explain that everybody has Bird Flu

do the same thing while recording other animals

Record a Car horn and car tires screeching outside and then yell DAMMIT IM TRYING TO DRIVE

Record an explosion yell DAMMIT YOU BLEW UP THE GAS STAION

Record the voice from a drive thru and the order you placed

LOL! These also work well with telemarketers...

You should show this to Earth Agent Superman of the Sentinels.

when it's a wrong number and they ask for a person I say, sorry he'she died.
they always go "NO! What can I do?"
I tell then bring lots of food and hang up.


yeah, I'm a prick at heart

I don't know....... I like you more every time you post.


and he forgot "Roadside Cafe... you kill 'em, we grill 'em"

and "County morgue, we tag 'em and slab 'em" or was it "you stab 'em, we tag 'em"? oh well, either way

It was "you stab 'em We slab 'em"

There's always "Kelly's liquor lobby, Kelly speaking"

for Long distance calls use Hello RCMP how May I help you

The best way to deal a telemarketer is to set the phone down (without hanging up) and walk way. He'll go on and on wasting his time pitching his product to no one, and when he's finally finished he'll wonder where you went.

I slap my danglies against the phone. Then I tell them what i just did.

Never tried that... might have to.

The putting the phone down and walking away might even work with a really creepy Stalker too BL go into another room and call the cops on him

If it's a wrong Number tell them yes this is He /she what's up then take the message This one works with me.

Animals howling and making noises while people laughing 'Hello Funny Farm" "Hello Funny Zoo"