OK, so ALL kinds of drama right now.


My wife's best friend, "C", recently left her abusive, drug addicted husband when he pulled a gun on her as she held their 1 1/2 year old. She moved a few towns over; he shows up at my house once in a while asking about his kids, but so far has been civil. Guys got his problems, needs to get his act together, but he misses his kids. Plus we knew this would happen, as he only lives a block from us.

Anyway, "C' is staying with some people. Their kids treat her like crap and pick on her two little ones, she lives in an unairconditioned room with a serious mouse infestation, and worst of all, has been the victim of date rape. As she put it, she had "One beer, got plastered, and had unprotected sex with a married man," that man being her roomate's husband. Later that week, she once again got drunk off ONE beer, wandered down the road in a haze until she was picked up by the first @$$hole's cousin (who came to visit), who abruptly swerved of the road and tried to rape her. I've seen the scratches and bruises on her, and the broken bra. And I am PISSED.


"C" won't call the cops. She and her two little ones are crashing at our place until she gets on her feet. Needless to say, my patrols will be close to home, in case rapist roomates or gun-toting smacked out ex-husbands come looking for her.


So I need some advice:


How do I best protect her, her family, and MY family fom these guys?

Should I call the cops about the sexual assualt?

Would it be stupid/unheroish to organize a little asskicking at these guy's place?


Thanks for listening guys.


Oh, and BTW-Don't worry about my wife being alone at the house when I go out. She's a tough cookie. She can out-wrestle me, has military training with hands, sticks, guns, and knives, and put a big ol' can of bear mace by the front door, and another in her car.

Violence should never be the answer. My best suggestion on this all is to help "C" get her shit together as well. Being a single mother is tough, but if she's still getting drunk (even if it is off "one beer") and hooking up with abusive strangers then she needs counseling just as much as her ex-husband does. I don't know what her situation is other than what you have stated, but she cannot be putting herself in these situations when she has children. It's not fair to them and it's not fair to anyone else that has to carry her burden.

Wow! You live in a bad neighborhood. Well You should defiantly patrol to keep an eye on these freaks that are acquaintances of your wifes friend. Your friend gets that messed up on one beer, she should defiantly stop drinking entirely. Going over and kicking these guy's asses so close to home is just inviting trouble for your family. You really can't report the sexual assault, didn't happen to you or your kids, it's up to her. I hate to say this, but if she's determined to attract that kinda attention to your house next (i've seen it before) you may get to the point where you'll have to ask her to go to a woman shelter for the abused.
A little story about a friend of mine, her name is Glenda, very nice woman, helps everyone who needs it. She grew up with two brothers in a terrible home in Mississippi. She got married young to a guy, who later turned out to be completely useless, and this character was secretly trying to work his way up the local mafia chain of employment. After the divorce, and living in various apartments, she finally got a house of her own, and would help any of her friends that needed it. She let one friend of hers stay with her after her drug using abusive husband was hauled off by the cops for beating his wife severely. This woman stayed with Glenda for a few months, bu the jackass kept showing up at her house, etc. She finally had a security system put in to protect her from him, and Glenda's family from this crazy as well. She later finds out that while she's been at work, this woman has been letting her abusive husband into the house, having sex with him, etc. Putting Glenda's whole family at risk, she comes home to confront this woman about this, finds her bleeding, lying on the staircase, and her two children lock in a closet with a chair wedged against the door. Turns out the guy came over, wanted to get back together wit her, she said no, so they got into an argument. Glenda's kids came home from school on early release day, so the guy grabbed them, locked them in the closet, then went back and beat his ex, almost into a coma.
Glenda had to get a restraining order against the guy, her kids had to provide testimony in court about this for the restraining, and protective orders to be put in place. She had to toss her friend out, told her when she get's out of the hospital, to make arrangements to come buy and get her stuff from the house. Glenda finds out that this woman's ex, was tried and cleared of attempted murder charges in NY, after he beat a woman severely, police saw him do it, after neighbors called them for the noise. She refused to testify later, so he was pinned with a assault/battery charge and spent like 90 days in the county lockup.
So BE WARNED! WATCH OUT FOR YOUR FAMILY FIRST!

I think you're missing the point of the "one beer" reference, especially when he's already said the words "date rape".

Rohypnol (sp?) ?

I thought from what he wrote, she just drank one beer, so unless someone is slipping it into her beer when she's not looking, kinda weird to jack yourself up on Rohypnol.

If I remember correctly, Rohypnol goes out of your system fast. So unless you give a Urine Sample within 72 hours, you can't prove it. If I were your friend, I'd talk to her about drinking. Since that's where this seems to be happening. If she has a beer, tell her not to let it out of her sight. If she has to go somewhere (like to the bathroom) she should take it with her. It's the best way to avoid someone spiking your drink.

awww..... Malvado's okay. he's just kind of grumpy. and he has once again proved that he has a place here with his sage advice. this young woman should seek some sort of counseling. I don't want to speculate as to the root of the issue, but I will say that giving her a safe haven for the minute will allow you time to gain insight that could help you help her to help her children. then everyone wins

Maybe you could start some sort of fundraiser to help abused women get away from their exes. The initial donations could be for your friend, but then you could continue to raise money for other victims once she is on her feet. Personally, I think that these domestic violence situations are one of the biggest injustices in our society. These guys get away with making someone's life a living hell, and nobody seems to be able to do anything about it.

I must admit I'm a little upset that people are quicker to judge this young woman rather then offer advice. She was drugged! And the place she was staying at is like 50 miles away. Some have offered help, and I thank you all, but enough with the judgement!

I'm not judging her, but if she perpetually is putting herself in this situations, directly or indirectly, then she obviously needs help getting out of that life-style. These are apparently terrible people she keeps falling in with and one of these days she could end up worse than raped and beaten, she could end up dead. Things like that can be prevented and the answer is that sometimes we have to protect people from themselves.

Right now is always better than too late.

what your friend "C" needs right know is someone to trust, We all wanna break the guys arms as much as you do but that wouldn ´t be very mature. She needs a place where she can feel safe. and she will not need a superhero for that, she needs friends and a supportive enviroment.

about reporting the assault. you must talk it with your family and then do what you think is the right thing to do. that will protect your family and hers.

take care

She got the test results back...

GHB the first time, which explains why she went along with it but didn't feel right.
Valium the second time, which explains why she was so out of it but didn't let that guy take advantage of her.

She's kinda pissing us off, she won't press charges or tell the guy's wives. But she has her own place now, and her ex is going to NA meetings, so hopefully things will start looking up.