Hello again, heros and heroins I have returned (temporaroly) For advice. I would like to start off with a story. Not to long ago I started a new job as a security gaurd...for burgerking (I know right? XD ) Now my wonderful town of..well you dont need to know that, has a pretty sizable population of homeless and the unfortionate. Burgerking being dead center of town, alot of them come to BK. They'll come in and rarly they will look to me for money or advice and I'm all for helping people, I'll give them maybe 5 bucks or whatever money I have on me I don't exactly carry money when I work but whatever.

One day I'm at BK, doin my job and this guy is trying to start a conversation with me. Now I'll be the first to tell you I do NOT like homeless people. So hes asking me stupid qestions like whats your faverite color? What kind of music do you listen to? You know, making small talk. Now I'm now my phone trying to keep to myself but still being polite i anwsered his questions and just kinda blew him off. Then he starts asking me some serious shit like, you got a family? I'm like ya everyones got a family. He says we'll my dad wants me in jail, my moms dead my sister wants me in jail, no one in my family is willing to help me. He shows me his wrists and he says you see these scars? I tryed to kill myself twice. I'm homless, I lost my job, my wife left me, she wont let me see my kids, I have nothing left in my life. Now I'm completely blindsided by this whole conversation. No clue what to say or what to do so I just kinda said. You know you seem like a nice guy I'm sure karma is on your side. Your luck will turn around.

After talking to this guy for a good hour and a half he says ya working tomarrow? I said no I'm working monday. I'll come see you monday. Sure enough. I come to work, hes already there. I said to myself Oh god here we go again. I stayed my distance and did not look away from my phone the entire time he was there. Probably should have ateast said hi but I just didn't want to deal with someone elses problems. I can't help him so why hear it.

I am here to tell you that is NOT how you deal with it. You DO NOT ignore it and wait for it to go away becasue the best gift you can give someone is an open ear. I didn't know what to do so i pretty much shoved it under the rug and I am not gunna do that again. So my question to you all is how should i handle these situations? How can i help these people? Preferably not by giving them money, witch i will but i don't wanna go broke in the process. I may not like homeless people but if they need my help damnit I'm going to give it to them. I just don't know how.

Just talk to them like normal people. If you don't want to talk tell them you don't feel like talking. If you want to know how to help somebody specifically, try asking "what can I do to help?" or "how can I help?"

Yes, treat them like normal people. Don't make a big deal out of it, just show them normal respect and dignity.

If you're uncomfortable with giving personal info, don't give it. Keep it general. Let him do the talking.

If his presence is interfering with your duties just explain that you can't talk now or you need to pay attention to what you're supposed to be doing. Be honest. Be direct.

Are you involved with any cleanup at night? Got any friends there who are?

Years ago I worked fast food in St. Louis. We knew homeless were digging in our dumpsters at night so I and some of the guys on the crew, when we had to throw out extra meat, etc would quickly bag the food items separately and put it all in a big garbage bag so it wouldn't get mixed in the trash. We got around company policy about giving away food and they got something to eat. Maybe you could discretely do something to this effect.

Don't give personal information, job schedules or a good reason for them to keep bugging you. Make yourself seem boring, and even unappetizing.

If that doesn't work, have peanut butter in your a**crack for the next time you see them. Say you haven't eaten all day, reach back, take a bite, then offer them some. They'll think you're crazy as bat-shit and hopefully never bother you again.

And generally, giving them cash is not helping them. Supplies and food are a better way to help. Sometimes, they just want an ear to bend.

Well yeah being a douchebag might work.

You're right on that, Jack. More often than not, that could only feed some habit. Food usually works best. It keeps them alive, but at the same time makes them think that if they can't get cash out of you, then they'll look for better opportunities if that's highest on their list of wants.

Ask them if they have a job too. Hand them an app and tell them that your store might need some extra help. They'll fill it out in the hopes of gainful employment, or look at it like you just threw up on their shoes. Either way, you're helping them out.

I know none of you live around me but I'm sure there are orgnizations i can refer people to. Has anyone done this? Is something like that well recived? I can see how some people may veiw it as insulting.

At my day job I have a community resources packet bookmarked on my computer. Whenever someone needs help finding housing, food etc. I print the packet out and give it to them. Check your local community's web site and see if they have something similar.

Alright I just found the closest homeless shelter witch is about 10 miles away. Now I'm thinking if I put togeather a panflit with directions and bus fair (theres a bus that runs from my town to the big city) hmm... Guess I'll be going on an adventure tomarrow.

Sounds to me more like a lonely guy, maybe a little off, looking for someone to talk to more than specifically a "homeless problem". I've had several situations at my post of people coming up to me and trying to strike up "buddy buddy" conversations, and I'm not supposed to have any contact with people at all other than to answer questions, so I totally feel you on the awkwardness of the situation. Like the others said I usually try to make myself seem boring or slightly douchy.

If that fails I'll tell them straight up "Sorry, I'm really not allowed to socialize while on duty." Chances are about 50/50 that they'll be completely understanding or take it personally. Either way they'll leave you alone.

As far as the organizations... If they start going into how they are homeless and no one will help like that particular guy was, then yea, that's a total opening to suggest something like that. You should look for cues like that to make the offer. Some people can be very prideful and will be insulted if you suggest a shelter or other such organization without some sort of opening to do so in normal conversation. You might as well be saying "Get a job" or "Get lost" in their mind, even though you are genuinely trying to offer them help.

So to avoid that, go with Eon's suggestion and ask them how you can help them, that starts the conversation on that subject.

EDIT: I like the pamphlet idea.

You might also talk to some of churches in your area, chances are they've got something low key if there is a homeless problem in your town at all and nothing shows up on the big searches. The police non-emergency line is another good place to find information about available services, particularly if they have a crisis call line (the not worth calling 911 kind of crisis).

Otherwise everyone else has had good advice. I just want to reiterate one thing: don't be more of a dick than your job requires. I always try to remember that if it weren't for a few strokes of good luck and generosity, I'd be right there next to the guy. Honestly, it can happen to anyone.

I do homeless outreach , actually did a handout tonight . Just my opinions but I never give them cash , they will spend it on cheap beer . I definately say treat them as people and be compassionate . But many street people are mentally ill and beyond your ability to help . If you feel uncomfortable be stern and order them to walk away . They will leave if they don't they are probibly deranged , you should call the police .

I made 8 sandwitchs for 3$ by clever shopping last week . Its easy and cheap to help but do not risk your job to do good . No job - less ability to do good .

I don't feel there's any reason to "not like" homeless people just based on the fact that they are homeless. They're just people - whether they're mentally ill, junkies, meth-heads, alcoholics, or just plain old down on their luck - they're people. I think there's a comfort factor involved, as well as a stigma attached to those living on the streets.

As it has been said before me, money is never a good idea. Booze, drugs - unfortunately, such things are prevalent in street-dwellers. However, what some of these people seem to be just as desperate for is someone to listen to them. Rarely are they given true thought to, listened to, or touched - and these are all things that any person needs for emotional survival.

Don't risk your job, though. And if you're interested in helping, then pointing him in the right direction towards your local services is a great start. Or, you could talk to him outside of work hours, just always meet in public and keep your head on a swivel ( as you would do with anyone you don't know very well).

- Cicada