Ya know,let me just say I hate my body.
I'm outta shape. My knees are (genetically) terrible. I have a slight case of lazy eye. I overcame speech impediments as a kid, but still talk funny due in part to an extra-wide tongue and a bad overbite. I'm getting grey hair. And I went to urgent care a few days ago because I had...pain and swelling in my *ahem* personal area. Turns out I have a massive hernia. I won't be able to patrol (or work) until I get surgery and recover.
Now I sit here in a chair, typing away, with ice packs strategically placed around my body, and I realize- I'm 25. This is my prime. And I've wasted it. Years of bad diet, no excercise. I screwed up in school and let myself go. Would I have a hernia if I was below 225, worked out reguarly and watched my diet? Maybe, but maybe it'd hurt less. I percieved Blue Alpha as being a superhero, looking kickass in a cool costume, patroling and doing good. But Blue Alpha is just me in color-coordinated street clothes, waddling around at an unimpressive pace with his gut hanging out. So when Sean has to sit on his ass recovering, Blue Alpha can either evolve....Or die. If I can't improve myself, I don't deserve to be a RLSH, or an X-Alt. So its time for a plan.
I'm told during recovery I can't excercise. Or walk far. Or have sex. So for 6+ weeks I'll need to work on diet and mind. Nothing drastic, just cut the sugars and fats. More raw veggies and fruits, less fatty meats. Little to no candy. Bread and pasta?Its whole grain or nuthin.' And as for my mind: I flunked outta jr college, and now I've made no effort to improve my mind. How can I be a decent hero if everytime someone posts something about tech or law and my eyes glaze over? That means not only reading more books that aren't comics, but also reading posts here that are based on knowledge and support.
When I can train my body, I need to be smart. Obviously I can't run 12 miles a day, but at various times in my life I tried different ways to get in shape with good results, but never stuck with it.
First step: Start using an excercise bike again. At my peak I was putting in 12 miles a day, 4 days a week. My goal? 20 miles a day, three days a week. Its god for my knees and my cardio was awesome.
Step two: Pilates. I took a class years ago to meet girls (tip: it worked), but this routine is great.It may be popular with women, but its creator was a cigar smoking boxer. It'll do my bad legs good, and return my flexibility. I want to touch my toes. I want to be able to wash my back.
Third step: Bodyweight excercises. I can't do 5 push-ups, one chin-up, or a full sit-up. My goal: Not sure, but I won't be satisfied until I can do 50 of all 3.
Well, I've talked a big game, but can I do it? Only time will tell.But I think I can. In six weeks, expect a new, leaner meaner Blue Alpha...or expect him to fade away, and to see a normal man patroling with the XJL. Wish me luck.

When you can exercise it doesn't have to be grand, especially to start. Consistently putting an increased physical demand on your body (over what you do now), no matter how small, has a training effect.

Good luck.

wow, and i thought my back problem was big...hope you can recover from that and we see you in the street doing the good work

More people should be as candid as you are about where they are. Seriously, awesome.

For me, t's always been about channeling any bottled up anger and rage. Be incredibly angry at any version of yourself that's less than perfect. Imagine the exact sensation of being less than you want to be. It's always motivated me to go the extra mile in diet, exercise, training, education, patrols, etc. And hey, I was doing handstand pushups before I was hit by a car. And I still challenge myself to do better even though I can't do half of what I was once capable of.

Also, check out TED talks online. Lots of intellectual stimulation that's packaged in small and entertaining chunks. It can be a good spark to motivate very real development.

The only way to fail is to quit.

@Eon: Yeah, I'm gonna start off slow...I have to, considering where the post-op stitches will be. Ow....

@herointraining: YOU still need to get an x-ray and MRI. I hope your back pain is nothing serious. The lower back is easy to damage, but its easier to maintain an active lifestyle after having surgery there then when you have it higher (especially the neck).

@Zimmer: Thanks man lol. I've been beating myself up for years, but its way past time to do something about it. And forgive my ignorance, but what are TED talks, and where can I find them?

Do what you have to friend, take care of yourself and be safe.

Love your body and keep it happy.

I admire your straight talk and the fact that you are willing to take responsibility for the things you should do. It speaks well of you.

I had a buddy that ate garbage his whole life. His parents were always off partying so he grew up eating TV dinners, fast food, Captain Crunch and hot pockets. He was never pushed to achieve anything or given any encouragement to explore so he watched videos and played D&D all the time. By the time we were both 19 he was pretty overweight and socially awkward. Fast forward to when I got out of the army five years later. He was even more overweight and worked as a pizza delivery guy. He had never had a girlfriend and still lived with his mom. He ate pizza constantly and played games like Tunnels and Trolls or Axis and Allies as his only real social outlet. He had bad skin and still had no idea what he wanted to do with his life. Actually that isn't true. He didn’t want to do anything with his life and that was ok with him because it was easy. I was all about being healthy and doing stuff but never could get him to even try anything at all. But after I had been back about a year he told me he wanted to change his life but didn’t know how. You see he was way too out of shape to “get out and exercise” and frankly he was embarrassed by his body. So we started with just his diet. It wasn’t a –NO MORE PIZZA- sort of thing. It was a –Pizza once a week- sort of thing. The biggest change was him giving up soda pop. Man he started feeling better and more optimistic and healthy right away just because he was eating better. We both knew if he gave up everything he liked he would just cave in. So we set it up to where he did have nachos on movie night. He just had to earn them by walking to the park and back on Monday, Wednesday and Friday.. No walks to the park, no nachos on movie night. Also he ate three meals a day five days a week. But ONLY those three meals. Not one potato chip in between. He could have whatever he wanted but it had to be at meal time. Weekends he allowed himself two snacks. Now that may sound like it would never work but he dropped noticeable weight pretty fast like that. This in turn motivated him to try harder. Which in turn got him better results. Once people started telling him he was looking thinner he gained the confidence to join a gym. He took a spin class and man he dropped the pounds like crazy. And...he went on his first date with a girl that was also in his spin class. It changed his whole demeanor. He became a different man.

Did he become some olympic athlete and marry a super model? Of course not. But he got his weight down to “a little bit husky” and was in far better shape than he (or anyone else really) would have ever dreamed. He married a nice woman that loved him and went to trade school to get a better job. And it all started with his decision that he wanted a better life. I honestly believe that just eating better improved his general state of well being to the point that even his mind was in a stronger place allowing him to keep improving.

So what you face is surmountable and your candid self assessment is really a bold first step. But remember to take an accounting of your strengths as well. Its easy for us to see our faults and flaws but not always so easy to count our blessings and advantages.

Search 'TED' on iTunes if you have it, YouTube if you don't. Also, all videos are up on their website and organized by subject matter, speaker, date and length.

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Small steps, My Friend. But heal first.

Dude I'm older than you? N***** you look thirty... at least.

Anyway, I hope you get better soon dude.

@Dogman: Woah boy! We aren't talking about that! I do that plenty when the wife's not in the mood

@Zimmer: Thanks, I googled it but came up with different results.

@UA: Yeah, we had this exact conversation when we first met in San Diego. You're getting forgetful in your old age.

Call me a wuss guys, but I was flipping through a book at B&N today called "The Detox Diet"......looked interesting, things about raw fruits/veggies and what minerals and vitamins are needed to cleanse the body....I put it back when I saw chapter 3: "Choosing an Enema." True story.

Yes I am. I am horrible with that kind of stuff.

Hey I was at b&n today too! What a small world... it sort of inspired me today.

Let me start by thanking everyone for their support....

As I am nearly done recovering, I plan on slowly getting back into work and patroling mid-November. Baby steps, as I still run a small risk of reinjuring myself. Handouts and 24 hour workweeks.

I spent so much time reading, and feel my mind has grown. Unfortunately, despite a lowered calorie intake so has my waist. You never realize how much fat you burn by working and running errands until you spend a month on your ass. However, I'm not worried. If I stick to my improved diet when I start moving again I should be fine.

The wife wants to lose weight too, so the first week or two will be power walks around the neighborhood. Afterwards a simple excercise program-Like push-ups and crunches to failure a few days a week. By January I hope to be to my playing card workout (see the training section) 4 days a week.

Thanks again everyone.I'm almost back in the game.

Zimmer is very correct in complimenting you on your self-awareness. The hardest part (sorry for the cliche) is admitting you have a problem.

You can do any damn thing you set your mind too. Especially at your age.
I lost eleven inches off my waist in the last eight months and have many more to go and I'm 39.

Seriously man, a little diet, some specific exercises and supplements for specific injuries/neglect problems and I think you can do it just fine.

I'm similar to you, physical wise. Desk bound office drone, by the end of the day I just don't want to work out. And early in the morning? Gawds no... so I fall off the wagon ALOT.

All I can say to that is find a gym partner. A partner is what you need to keep you going.

And as for your mind, I have a few ideas. For one, keep reading. Anything (minus tabloids). I'm told by my friends that I'm just full of trivia. That's because I do a lot of reading.

But memory retention isn't actual sentience. I don't do this a lot, but I have friends who do and swear by this. Do lots of crossword puzzles, brain teasers and sudoku. That'll train your brain to think better, faster and smarter. Discussion and debate are also great, not only to learn how to defend your point logically and precisely, but it gives you an excuse to fill in the gaps of your knowledge or beliefs.

Hope I help in some small way.

Who needs a gym partner when you can play tag with your buddies at the playground?

Excersise and fresh air at the same time Cant beat that one up poozers